Art & Fine Motor Skills

As I have gone from Early Childhood Education major graduate, to motherhood, to Preschool teacher plus mother of a Preschooler and Kindergartener, I have a very interesting relationship and perspective on Art.  In school, it was driven into our heads: open art, open art!  No cutesy crafts!  Open art materials!  Now that I have been through the different roles and seen all different perspectives, I have come out on art at the place about where I do many things in my life:  BALANCE. Balance between cutesy crafts and open art.  Balance between open art materials and teaching a specific technique for a specific art tool.  

As a teacher, we want and somewhat need to send home crafts that help the parents understand what their child was learning.  Kids love showing their parents their cute coconut tree and pointing out their names on their name caterpillar.  Kids need these cutesy crafts as well as their parents.  They are a way to communicate the curriculum, the stories read in class, and celebrate the seasons or holidays!  Many of these crafts encourage fine motor development as well as teaching them how to use an art material correctly.  There is nothing wrong with cutesy crafts!  My son learned a great deal about drawing as well as grew immensely in his fine motor skills because his Preschool teacher taught him a great deal about drawing, and taught him (and me) about all types of art tools.  She opened our eyes to a whole world of new art materials as well as challeneged my son to realize he could draw a monkey, and he could make an awesome dinosaur out of shapes.  Were most of her art lessons very instructed, yes, were most of her art materials used for a specific purpose in her craft, yes.  But she allowed the children free coloring time every morning during free play time and many of her cutesy crafts involved open tearing of paper, and creative use of paint.  I believe there is nothing wrong with cutesy crafts, however there is something wrong if a child is never given the opportunity to creatively explore open art on their own without direction.  With schools being so pressured by parents and state testing, the open art time falls more and more on the shoulder of the parents to give children that time to explore and grow.  My mother always taught my the importance of a plain sheet of paper, some decent paint, and a paint brush.  To this day, coloring with my boys can be therapy for me as an adult.

As a parent, the biggest advice that I can give to parents who are trying to encourage fine motor skills in their young child, is to allow them open art time, as well as access to open art materials.  So many parents are afraid of crayons on the walls, paint in their hair, and markers on clothes, that they rob their child of open art experiences as well as developing fine motor skills.  The moment they pick up a crayon or paint brush, they are learning how to use their small muscles and coordinate their movements.  At one point I had five boys in my very small home, three days a week.  And they all knew where the paper was, they all knew how to get to the crayons and pencils, and sometimes markers made an appearance.  Yes, there were some mistakes made, and the couch did get drawn on a time or two, but for the most part, the art supplies stayed where the art supplies belonged and the boys experienced open art and grew in creativity.  

Here are my tips:

1. Make rules and stick to them!  If a child can't keep his markers on the paper, the markers get taken away.  No if, and's or but's about it!  You earn your opportunity to explore art!

2.  Organize art supplies in a way that make sense to the kids.  I am known as the bin/basket lady. I have a bin/basket/drawer for everything.  There is always a bin full of plain paper, plain card stock, and coloring sheets (and now baseball scoring sheets because my eldest is obsessed).  There is always a bin full of WASHABLE crayons, and now that my 2 1/2 year old has learned the rules of markers, a WASHABLE marker bin.  I have baskets up high full of WASHABLE paints, scissors, and all sorts of crafting tools and art supplies. ALWAYS washable (it may cost you a few more $'s, but it saves you from yelling at your kids, and keeping your sanity and your husband's sanity because it washes right off).  I put these bins next to where I want my boys to use their art materials, by their child-sized table.   It makes sense to me and it makes sense to them.  Is there a child-sized table in my living room-yes. Is there bins of art supplies in my living room-yes.  Baskets full of art supplies in my kitchen-yes.  Do I have an understanding husband-yes.  Do I entertain many adults-no.  Do I have time to-no.  There will be a time when my home becomes my dream home, but for now, it is shared with a 6yr old and 2 yr old, so they need to have a place for their stuff.  They need to feel a part of our home.  Accessibility and visibility are key if you want to encourage them to be involved in open art.  Pushing them will turn them off, but if the art materials are accessible within reason and with a couple of rules, kids will be more willing to engage in art because it's, well - out there, visible, and accessible.  They are in control of when they engage and what they want to engage in, it is "open" for business when they are in the "mood".  

3.  Take art on-the-go.  Just like many modern-day families, we are on-the-go much of our weekends and even our weeknights.  In the car, there are two plain paper sketch pads, as well as ziplock bags full of crayons and colored pencils.  Do I have an understanding husband-yes.  Do we constantly find melted crayons under their seats-yes. Are markers allowed in the car-no (I have to allow my very understanding husband some peace of mind:).  My eldest son has come up with more exciting drawings in the car then anywhere else!  He blows me away with his creativity and fine motor control even when I am in a panic-driving to get them to an appointment on time.  Even my 2 1/2 year old, who has been a little more hesitant about art has taken to scribbling in the car.  His pencil control and fine motor skills have already gotten better since his brother showed him his very own car- sketch book.  Even my son's friends know where the crayons are in Miss Karra's car.  I am going to start needing to comb the clearance section of Hobby Lobby for two more sketch books soon, they are running out of free pages!

4.  Let go and encourage.  I struggle with this, BIG time.  The Preschool teacher in me wants to grab my son's hand and make him create the design I see in my head, but I have to let it Go and let him express HIMSELF.  There are times for instruction and guidance, and then there are times when we need to let them explore and go wherever their mind leads them, encouraging them and listening to their descriptions along the way.  Especially if your kids are in school all day, and have been told what to do all day, let them have creative freedom at home, you might be surprised.  Just the other day, my just-started-Kindergartener wanted me to staple plain paper together so he could make a leaf book for his teacher.  It was HIS idea, HIS story, HIS art materials, open, available, and visible that allowed for this creative idea. 

I guess this blog is more of a reminder for myself and what I have learned from my different experiences and perspectives of art coupled with fine motor skill development.  A reminder to myself, to allow my kids to have their open-art experiences, and forgive myself for the cutesy crafts I do with my class because it goes so well with the lessons:).  I hope to continue to find a BALANCE, just like everything else in life, with art, as a mother and as a teacher.  

Parenthood: A Bumpy Ride

When you prepare for parenthood, you prepare for the practical things: baby gear, books about feeding, cleaning, wiping baby; how to's of how to made baby food more nutritious and how to create stimuli for baby at all stages. You read about "baby blues" and devour hundreds of pages of baby names.

You also prepare for the emotional aspect of parenthood.   You've seen the commercial of Mom tearing up after baby takes her first steps, or proud Dad smiling when his son learns to throw a ball. But what I didn't, I don't think many people do or can prepare for, is the vast spectrum and massive volume of emotions a parent deals with, even DAILY!

When you trudge through life with someone, a little person, you experience emotions in ways and in number that you didn't even realize existed.  Because to them, getting their face wiped is a World War III kind of tragedy, and pushing the button on the elevator is the cooler then winning the Lombardi Trophy! And their ups and downs become your ups and downs.  You feel what they feel, and you feel because of their reaction or behavior.  And the daily emotional roller coaster wares on you.  It makes you wonder if it is worth feeling anymore.  One of the best pieces of advice someone gave me while I was pregnant, was to "stop and feel the moment with your child".  Allow yourself time to feel the emotions, and feel what they are feeling.  So much of our time is spent trying to control our emotions, sometimes we just need to cry with our baby who is colicky, or laugh with our toddler who is painting with his own pee, or feel the butterflies when our daughter steps out onto the dance floor for her first performance.  We are allowed to feel with our children.  It is difficult, it is EXHAUSTING, but in the end, I think we will understand them better and help them then to control and regulate their emotions in a healthy balance.

I have to say that before becoming a parent myself, I had very ridged expectations of myself and expectations of all other parents as well.  After being gut-wretchingly humbled by parenthood to two totally different children, I now have learned NEVER to judge another parent until you learn the whole story.... parenthood ups and downs have a way bringing out things in you that you least expected and maybe didn't even realize existed!  Many times the reaction that comes out of me, surprises me more then the kids! Parenthood highs and lows make you stronger in so many ways, but also breaks you down, down, down.... And in public those emotions are even more intense because you are aware of how your child's actions reflect on you and how you are able or unable to control your reaction to your emotions.  So next time you see a kid throwing a tantrum, or a parent loosing their cool, give them a break, cut them some slack, and trust me, it will happen to you too!

I have also come to realize that when a positive emotion washes over me as a parent, that trying to push it down, is the last thing I need to do for me, even if it means bawling my eyes out during the third inning of t-ball game... the highs keep me going through the lows... the ups help me get over the bumps, and the laughter keeps me smiling through the tears.  Parenthood is a journey of ups and downs, highs and lows, but really, the only way to help prepare you, is to say "ride the roller coaster of emotions, feel every bump, and enjoy every up!"

The Booms

It is a day we will never forget and yet it was a day we wish we could forget ever happened... the tragedy of the Boston Marathon Bombings was something that hit home for all of us.  All of us spent hours checking on friends, family, co-workers that lived, worked in the area of Boston or were runners in the Boston Marathon. We all were glued to our tv's from Monday to Thursday when the suspects were finally gunned down and caught. 

In our home with a 4 3/4 year old and a 1 yr old, my husband and I spoke in hushed voices about the awful event and only watched the news when the boys were in bed,  well almost...

We had kept our older son, D in the dark for the first day when it happened.  But as local authorities were issuing warnings in our area of a suspicious package the day after the bombings, my husband Texted me to turn on the local news and see what was going on.  Well as soon as I turned on the tv, the bombing images came on the screen and D darted in the room before I could yell no and he caught a glimpse of the video of the bomb going off before I had the chance to change the channel...

What to do, what to do, my mind was racing and he just kept asking "mommy what was that, mommy what was that," he was not going to let me get away without an explanation. 

Oh how to explain tragedy and horror and an awful, awful scene... do I make up a story? Do I tell the truth?

I sat down at the dining room table and started my explanantion (I left out that people died, and I did not expand on how many were hurt).  But I explained that someone or some people made really bad choices and hurt people by setting off bombs (which was translated in his mind to booms because that's what he heard on the tv).  I told him people's legs and bodies got hurt but they were in the hospital getting better with nurses and doctors...  he just shook his head up and down with wide eyes.

How is he digesting this? What's next? How do I help him understand? How does a four year old process this?  What do I tell him next? How do I restore his confidence in his own safety and the safety of those around him?

We prayed next.  We talked about how the first and best thing we could do right then was to pray for the people of Boston to feel better.  I prayed for the nurses and doctors and all those involved.  He simply prayed for the hurt people to feel better.  He still prays for them every night since, before he goes to sleep. 

After that he started asking many questions, where is Boston? Is it close? Who are the bad guys? Why did they want to hurt good guys?  Everything is so black and white, cut and dry in his mind.  How do you explain things that you don't understand yourself? 

We got out a map.  We talked about my cousin that lives in nearby Milton, very close to Boston, but that he and his family were ok, not hurt.  We talked about the people that helped the hurt and what a great job they did.  All I kept thinking was, try to stay positive; try to reassure him that people make good choices too. 

At lunch time my husband came home for his lunch break.  We were going to the Indians game that evening, so he talked to D about going to the game.  "Who do we play tonight dad?"

"The Boston Red Sox"

"Boston, where the booms happened? Where people are hurt? Are players hurt?"

"Yes, Boston where the bombs went off, no players are hurt but some of their friends might be hurt."

"Hmmm"

"You ok D?"

"Yeah, are they going to do anything at the game to help them feel better?"

"Do you want to do something? Do you want to make them a card or something?"

"Yeah, could we give it to the Boston players to give to the hurt people?"

"We can try"

"Ok."

We made four cards,  he tried wrote Boston on one with balloons, signed all four of them on the back, and helped me color them. I was trying to think of what else to write on the cards when he told my husband, "dad I don't care who wins tonight.  I want the Red Sox to win so they feel better.  Can I wear a Red Sox tattoo tonight too, because it's ok if the Red Sox win the game, I will cheer for the Red Sox too tonight."

And that's when the idea of "from OUR city to YOUR city: our hearts and prayers go out to you Boston. Love, Cleveland."  was created.  Because for Dylan, a die hard Indians fan who is fiercely competitive and hates to loss; for him to want the Red Sox to win, was something I had never heard him say. I wanted the Boston nation to know that they have fans everywhere and that we are all behind them and praying for them; that our entire city was cheering for them, the very young and the adults.

During the moment of silence at the game, I knew Dylan was praying for the hurt people. When Pedroia and Buckhowlz came up to him and gave him a high five, and took the signs back to their dugout and back to the city of Boston; I knew Dylan was thinking about the people that were hurting.

On the ride home our discussion turned to the cards and the events that took place that night.  We told him that the players did indeed take the cards back to their dugout and hung them up.  We showed him the picture on Twitter and he said "I hope it helps them feel better, I hope the hurt people feel better soon."  He also told us that he wanted to go to an away game someday to see the Red Sox and see the city of Boston. 

We prayed again before bed that night and every night since, for the hurt people in Boston. When we prayed before lunch, even today, the first day of May, he prayed for those that are hurt in Boston.

There are times when I question if I should have told him the truth of the footage he saw on tv, when he asks me, "how did they get the bombs by the people?" And "was it just parents that got hurt, or kids too?"  It is difficult to answer these questions. These questions and others make me realize that he is still trying to wrap his mind around it.  He had a few night frights during the nights following the bombings and I'm sure they were related to what images he saw and heard.  It is difficult to know if I made the right decision in telling him...

But when he prays at night, I know it is one more prayer that God is hearing.  And when I read a comment written by a Bostonian on the article that was written about his Red Sox dugout cards, I am hoping one more heart is touched just a little. For Dylan, his love of baseball helped him cope with the tragedy, and connect with the people, complete strangers, that got hurt. For him, the Red Sox will always hold a special place in his heart because of the events and this memory that will stay with him, probably for life.  And we hope and pray, just like every other parenting decision we make, that in the long run we made the right decision.

For all of those who will forever hear the booms in your ears and forever see the scars from the booms on your body, we pray for you, we cheer on your recovery, and we think of you often.  May God bless you and give you strength every day. He is a powerful God; we ask Him to give you comfort every day.

We will forever be Boston fans.

It's Not What You Say to Me, it's the Way You Say it:

I recently resigned from one of my part time jobs. My full tome job is being mommy to my two boys. My other part time job is childcare out of my home.  The other part time job was coaching a varsity high school sport.  After a very grueling and difficult time of mulling over the decision, I decided to step down from my coaching position.  It may sound selfish, but it was actually one of the most unselfish decisions I have ever made.  My part job was my one time to get away from the kids.  It was the one place I felt like I was accomplishing things, doing things that mattered. I got to interact with other adults and influence young adults.  So why resign from something that I love?  Even though it was healthy for my self esteem and social interaction, it wasn't always healthy for our family.  During season I was consistently emotionally drained and this wears on the health of our family. Out of season, in the off season, I would stress out about the next season. I finally decided that my family needed a consistent mother more then I needed the break and the morale boost.  Consistency for my children finally outweighed my personal desires.  It was a difficult decision.

But as I went through the process of resigning and my life changing (I am not good at change AT ALL), I had interaction and reaction to my decision from many people. All were supportive with their words, but their actions and body language made me realize things had changed between us. 

If I was a mind reader, this is what I would read: "now what are we going to talk to her about, her kids AGAIN? ! "I thought she actually wanted to do something with her life other then live through her kids."  "She's just another know-it-all SAHM judging us working moms."  "There's another four year college degree, honors graduate throwing her degree, licence and money away."  "Can they really afford to live off of one teacher's salary income?"  "I'm disappointed, that was the one thing we connected about, the one thing that made her stand out from other moms."  "Why?  It was a part time job, her kids probably need a break from her! "  "Does she REALLY want to make a career of wiping asses?"

The weeks since I stepped down, I have been 90% happy about my decision, realizing what a difference it will make for our family and the consistency it will allow in all of our lives.  But the 10% that I miss the most is the reaction of others and the loss of my title.  I was proud to be a coach, proud to own that title of coach. 

Why does the loss of my title change the way people react to me?  Why do I feel less confident when I walk into a group of people? Even those closest to me, make me feel like I should just stay in the background, I don't have anything confident to add to the conversation...

I know much of this is my own head, but I also know that people are extremely judgemental and quick to judge, because I, myself have had to ask for forgiveness for judging others.  That is human nature to judge and make ourselves feel better by looking down at others.

Well I feel looked down on.  I feel judged. And I feel less confident then I did four weeks ago when I still wore the title of "I work outside of the home."

It is difficult.  People say all the right things. But I know what they are really thinking and when I have a bad day, sometimes I think they are right...

Baby Blues

With my first pregnancy, I read all about post-partum depression and told myself, that won't happen to me...  well I don't care if you are the happiest person alive, and thought, like I did, that stuff can't touch me, it will happen.  Baby blues will happen to every mother and father. It can hit a mom at two days post-partum or two years post-partuma

It will happen to a stay-at-home mom, a part time working mom, and a full time working mom. It will happen with your first child, my second child, and that mom's seventh child. And anyone who says different is lying or is in denial;).

Baby blues mean something different to every person. It can effect different mom's in many different forms. With my first baby, I felt alone. I was young and none of my friends had babies. I felt like I had to do everything right so I put extra stress and pressure on myself.

With my second baby, I got frustrated with the fact that I lost the body that I once had. The farther I get from "before babies" the more I miss the "old" me and my depression has been more about how much less of myself I feel like I am now. I have that much less time for myself because I am chasing after two now! My hormones were really crazy right after giving birth with my first baby. With my second boy, my hormones went crazy after he weaned from nursing. Every mom is different, every pregnancy is different, every baby is different, and this is the truth!

I see it in the dark circles and the wrinkles in every mom's face that she so desperately tries to hide.

Some women need to have medical help, psychological help, some women find ways to combat their depression through personal ways, social ways. Sometimes these ways cause them to find other addictions: alcoholism, exercise addiction, eating disorders, emotional denial. And sometimes women successfully find things that help them deal with their level of depression in healthy ways.

I am not claiming to be one of those people, at times, I have wandered down the road of temptation towards many of those things, including worse depression, however, I have found a few things that have helped me along the way:

- The drop off. Write on a piece of paper what you think is the heart of your depressions. My list goes something like this: loneliness, feeling inadequate, fear of failure, shattering perfection, ruining my kids' future, ruining my own future career, loss of hair, weight gain, scars, temporary loss of intimacy with my husband, fear of inadequacy, loss of the body I once knew, loss of a social life I once enjoyed, financial stress. This is just the big things, my list could go on and on, but I write all of these things down and I hand them to God. I literally give them to Him(or the top of my dresser where they can't be reached), but I physically do it. And then I start to try to do things to help heal the broken pieces that I feel like are my life by:

- Never getting on or looking at a scale until six months after baby is born. Ladies, I beg of you, do not torture yourself after giving birth. You will be tortured enough by pain and lack of sleep, but don't do it, just don't!

- Don't look in a mirror until four weeks after giving birth. Again, don't torture yourself, don't evaluate yourself. I tried to take pictures and post them to friends, trying to say "hey friends, I may have had a baby but I'm still your twenty-something cool friend," trust me I look back at those pictures and cringe, all I see now are the dark circles from lack of sleep and a fake smile.

- Don't invite someone over to see the baby for the first four to six weeks and more if your baby has colic, unless you and they can handle seeing you in your pajama pants and nursing shirt, because chances are, you will still be living in those clothes. If someone isn't comfortable seeing you nurse, don't invite them over until your baby is eating solids, you think I'm joking, I'm not!;)

- Don't try to be super mom. Ask for help, allow others to hold your baby so you can nap, invite friends to bring you meals (as long as they don't have to come in if you are still uncomfortable). This goes for when they are three months old or three years old. It is ok to ask for help and to not be able to do it all!

- Me Time Especially after #2 I had to tell my husband I needed some time for myself (and yes you will have to ask, even the most wonderful husbands don't understand the concept because they have never had a baby strapped to their chest every half hour or been through labor). Get away from baby and kids once in a while, you need some time to be who you are without them. I joined a church committee and I have a half hour drive to the meetings and I relish that time I have alone to call a girlfriend or blast any tunes is want! After the second baby came, after about nine months, I asked for a gym membership and I go exercise at least once a week just to get away and have some time for myself.

- Your Not Alone! I started reading parenting blogs and journaling and it has been so therapeutic for me. I found a play group, I talked to a neighbor who is a mother of four. I ask mom's at church random questions. I post pictures and share something funny the kids did that day. It is my community of people, and it helps me know that I am not alone! There are millions out there like me, there are thousands of great resources at my fingertips, going through all of ups and downs and insanity I and dealing with. I share a weekly phone call with another SAHM and it's basically a venting time. We allow each other to complain and curse and yell and it is OK! You are not alone. Reach out to another mom, or read a blog or write in a journal, have lunch with another working mom, or join a group. Find a way so that you don't feel like you are on an island. Don't let yourself wallow in the sands of loneliness, do something that helps you to feel less alone, dig out and reach for something that connects you.

- Create a home environment that lends itself to play. Many mom's feel depressed because their house is closing in on them and the kids are bored and no one is happy. Allow your dining room to have buckets of crayons and water colors in it. Let your living room scream kids with the book baskets and toy tubs. Who spends more time in there, your kids or your snooty neighbor? Does it really matter what she thinks anyway? The more comfortable your kids are at home, the more happy you all will be. Organize your toys to they lend themselves to play, involve your kids in the process of organizing so they can feel like they know where things are and will be more exited to play.

- Its ok to cry. Its ok to miss the old you before kids. Its ok to feel lonely. Its ok to stay in your pajamas all 24 hours of a day. Its ok to have an "off day" and not be on your "A" game with your kids. Ask for forgiveness and try again the next day. Forgive yourself if you feel like you fail your family. Its ok, no parent is perfect. It's ok, but if any of these things become habit, ask for help. Its ok to ask for help.

Baby blues happen to every mom, and can hit you at day 2 or day 2,498. Its OK! Just know yourself and know when it is time to ask for help when you need it!

Baby Must-Haves

Once again, I'm not an expert...  however I do like when other mom's tell me what products they like and what worked for them. 

So here are a few things that I think are must-haves when I have a baby. I also don't don't like to spend a lot of money on baby stuff; hand-me-downs and garage sales are the way to go on most baby items, however I do feel there are some things worth the extra dollar or two.

Here are my baby must-haves

- Aveeno skin products.  I have two very busy boys and neither one has had any skin issues (except for an awful allergic reaction, but that story is for a blog for another day) and I think much of it is due to the Aveeno skin products that I use with the boys.  They do cost a little more then the generic brands but I think it is worth it and I try to find coupons for them whenever possible.  I LOVE and stand by the Aveeno diaper rash cream.  It is very thick so it stays on your baby's skin and it really seems to calm down the rash on contact. It also prevents diaper rash for long durations because it stays on the skin and continues to protect it after many diaper changes.  I lather their bottom with it everytime they poop and I have never had an issue with diaper rash, even when my babies were/are teething and then pooping every twenty minutes!  I also am a huge fan of their lotion.  I use their daily lotion myself and on my preschooler after every bath and he has never had patches of dry skin.  It has no fragrance so my four year old doesn't mind it, he even tells me if I missed an "itchy" spot:).  When my boys were little babies, I used the Aveeno baby lotions which I just love.  They are creamy but not too thick. They coat the skin but are not too oily.  I also like the way their baby shampoo smells but that is not a "must-have" it is just something I "like" to have:)  I promise I am not representing Aveeno, this is just one mom expressing her opinion of what worked for her.

- Cloth diapers for burp clothes.
There are different cutesie burp clothes out there, but I found the most absorbent burp clothes are the simple, old-school cloth diapers.  And if your kids are anything like mine, you will need absorbent burp clothes with the amount of spitting up that will take place!

- Pampers diapers.  I have my sister to thank for this one, she told me before I had my own kids, that Pampers was the way to go and I am glad I took her advice! I have babysat, nannied, and been day care credit giver for 16 years now and by far my favorite disposable diaper is the Pamper diaper.  It is well made, soft to their skin, and keeps most everything inside the diaper.  I know it is just a silly piece of padding that gets thrown in the trash, but when you are out and about and your baby is teething and just started table foods, you will glad to have a diaper that keeps it all in and doesn't ruin your baby's skin if you can't change him the very second he poops.  Your sitter will thank you too!  Some mom's may argue with me, but I have no complaints about Pampers other then their price:)  But as my husband says "it's the high price we pay to keep our kids' butts clean. 

- Multiple changing stations.  This is not something you really buy, it is just something I suggest to all new mom's.  Have multiple changing stations, especially in the rooms where you spend most of your time.  When you just come home from the hospital with baby, you are tired to the bone, you may have multiple other children needing your attention, and your body hurts everytime you move. It is best not to have to go very far to change baby.  Especially because newborns are constantly pooping!  When my boys were newborns and still sleeping in a bassinet in our bedroom, I would keep a changing station on the bedside table.  I also keep a little basket in the living room, even now that my you.gets is almost one, with a changing pad, diapers, wipes, and Aveeno diaper rash cream in it.  This way, a diaper change is at my finger tips. With multiple children running around this is a must-have! 

- When I asked my husband what he thinks a baby must-have is, he said three things that I totally agree with:  a cloth hat, a pacifier, and a swaddling blanket.  All three are extremely important but are pretty self-explanatory and on every baby list so I'm not going to go into details about them, but are good things to keep in mind for sure! So I will add one more of my own.  The last must-have for baby that is needed even at the hospital before you go home is: baby-sized nail clippers.  I love the first pair I got, a simple, cheap pair with a little magnifying glass attached to the end of it.  Anyone that knows me, knows I'm a little OCD about cutting my sons' nails.  I just figure, if I can do anything to help keep them from scratching themselves, I'm going to do it, and as often as needed!

I posted this and them I realized I forgot one of my top favs!

- A white noise maker is a must-have for me!  We have a small, older house and so we all hear each other in the house.  We also have a protective dog who barks when anyone comes up to the house.  So when the boys nap, they each have something in their rooms that makes white noise so that they don't hear every noise in the house. My oldest son has an air purifier in his room that makes white noise.  We actually bought my second son a white noise maker and it is nice because when we go places and he has to nap in the pack'n'play, we turn it on and he knows that it is naptime and it drowns out any extra noises.  A white noise maker, is a must-have on my baby list!

Once again, this is a short list of things that I like, not necessarily what every other mother might like or agree with, it is just one mom's small opinion.  Take what you will from it...

Sleeping Habits

Every parent knows the importance of a solid night's sleep as well as the amazing feeling of "alone time" during naptime. 

I am no sleep expert, nor do I claim to have all of the answers.  I have simply read up on a few sleeping methods, listened to the advice of many great mom's and tried to put into place what I liked best about them all.  I have learned that every family has their own sleep routines and ways of teaching their children how to sleep.  I respect every parents' sleep methods.  These are just a few ideas if you are looking for ideas. Here are a few sleeping tips for infants to preschoolers:

Infants:
- Swaddle until they break out of the swaddle consistently. My first baby loved the swaddle and was in one until four months. My second baby only liked it for about two months, he was very active when he slept. But both enjoyed being swaddled for a while.
- Lay baby down before he/she is asleep to begin self-soothing at about 4 months. This just gets baby in the habit of self-soothing started so he/she is comfortable with it early.  
- I was nervous about SIDS so both boys slept in our bedroom in a bassinet until they were 4/5 months old, then they went into their own bedroom in a crib. - When trying to switch the boys' night's and days, I tried to nurse and change them in the dim light and put them back to bed right after feeding or changing them even if they were chatty.  My first baby made the switch within the first week or two.  Baby number 2 took more like a three to four long weeks!
- Cut out the right-before-bedtime nursing or bottle feeding at about 6 months.  Replace it with a cereal before bed snack.  I found that this transition helped my babies to not rely on this feeding to put them to sleep and the cereal often sustained them longer and they didn't wake up as soon to nurse.
- Allow baby to use a pacifier/blanket/transitional object to help him/her soothe to sleep. Sometimes these objects change, but having something familiar and consistent is often very comforting for them especially when traveling or at the sitter.
- The middle of the night weaning.  This is a tough one.  I really don't have a good answer for this one.  My husband would go in with D when we were weaning him from the middle of the night feeding and D had to cry it out for a few nights. With L I waited until 9 months and then he kind of weaned himself off, he just started sleeping through the night but it wasnt until about ten months. My best advice is stay consistent and givevyourself time and flexibility. Also, don't go in and spend lots of time with baby in the middle of the night. Feed baby and lay them right back down or when trying to wean, one hug for baby and lay baby back down, don't stress and soon enough baby will begin to sleep through the night.
- This is a tough one if you like to cuddle, but I try not to rock my babies to sleep unless they are sick or very overly tired.  Our bedtime routine consists of a little cuddle hug, a quiet prayer in his ear, a kiss and then I lay him down awake and he puts himself to sleep.  If he cries for more then five minutes after I leave, I go in, pick him up give him a quick hug and put him right back down.  Some nights he goes down without a fight, and other nights I have to go in two or three times.

My philosophy is this when it comes to bedtime: Your baby needs to be used to a routine that involves things that can always be the same.  You/your boobs can't always be there (someday you will need a date night, or your favorite band will be playing at a bar near by, or you will have to work late) and you don't want your babysitter or husband left, trying to put to sleep a baby who only wants you/or your boobs.  When you are trying to wean your baby off the bottle, you don't want them to rely on a bottle to go to sleep.  I have used a pacifier with my babies.  Some breastfeeding moms don't believe in using them, but I do feel it helps them self-soothe when they are young and are an ok transitional object when they get older.  I take it away after I wean them somewhere around 15 months (at least that is the plan:).

- Naptime schedules I try to keep naps as consistent as possible starting at about 5\6 months old (but again every baby is different): first nap about two/two and a half hours after he/she wakes up for the day and second nap about two and a half to three and half hours after they wake up from their first nap.  -I use a similar sleep routine at nighttime, keeping it simple. I also use a white noise maker and now, as soon as my 11 month old hears it, he lays his head on my shoulder, he just knows it is time, it is like his indicator.  Naptimes have to be flexible, I completely understand that, especially with the second child; he has to get used to a nap in the car or one long nap on Sundays when he is at church during morning nap.  I just try to keep things as consistent as possible, whenever possible.  When we are on the go, he learns to be flexible and we all get creative: )

Toddler/preschool sleeping:
- My husband and I have never been co-sleepers with our children, we are two tall, bigger people and there is just no room left in our queen bed for another body; plus my husband sleeps so soundly that I'm always afraid he would roll over on the baby and never know it.  I can count on two hands how many times we have had our kids in bed with us.  For obvious things such as sickness, nightmares, night frights, and storms our children have tried to sleep with us, but most of the time there wasn't much sleeping going on, just bodies piled up:) With my second baby, I did bring him into bed to nurse him laying down because he was very easy to get to latch and I was exhausted running after two, but when he was done, back to his bassinet he went. So there are times when the boys co-slept, but really, the lack of space and comfort for all of us kept it to a minimum. Both boys really enjoy their own space and their own beds.  Kids are creatures of habit and since we have never made a habit of them joining us in bed or us sleeping with them in their bed, they don't rely on it now.  As a toddler, once D could get out of his toddler bed, we had to teach boundaries.  After he learned that he could get out of bed (around potty training age when we let him get out of bed to go to the bathroom), we got in the habit right away of putting him right back in bed.  He would get up and back we would go to his room, tuck him in and leave.  He is almost five and the routine has not changed, his excuses for getting out of bed have changed and gotten more creative ("my toe is itchy" is a favorite), but we don't entertain him; put some lotion on his foot and back he goes to bed.  We started when he was a baby and it is what we do with L now.  If he cries out for a good five minutes, we go in, give him a quick hug and back he goes back into his crib.  The routine started and the habit is now formed. 
- There are different thought processes about toddler/preschool napping. As with transitioning from one to two naps, I think every child is different and has his/her own needs.  The job of us parents is to listen to those needs and try our best to figure out what is best. My almost five year old still naps a couple of days a week.  Depending on our schedule for the day, what time he got up for the day, and when he went to sleep the night before plays a big role in if he naps or not.  -I am a firm believer in what we call "alone quiet time" this is time D has by himself in his bedroom. He has this time for at least an hour if he can't go to sleep at naptime or if we deem him aloud to not nap (such as he didn't wake him until 8:30 and we need him to go to bed early that night).  Sometimes he naps too long and then is up too late, so it is a difficult transition to figure out and again every kid is different.  We try to listen to his body language and make our best judgement call.  I think kids do better when they have a break in the day to unwind and reset.  We do not allow quiet time to involve screen (i.e. tv, computer, handheld games) except for special occasions (i.e.the Indian's or Buckeyes have big game on during quiet) and then he rests on the couch but that is reserved for the most special occasions. Every other day his quiet alone time consists of reading books or playing quietly in his bedroom for at least an hour and he usually really enjoys it and we get some time without him bugging us ever two minutes:).

I do not claim to have all of the answers and every kid is different, I do however find that both my boys love to sleep in their beds and my husband and I seem to have a system that fits our family. My best advice is find a system that works for your family and listen to other parents when you run into problems, chances are they are having similar issues and can give you great ideas!