I have never been a runner. Never tried to convince anyone that I was a runner. I have never entered in a race, I have never had the urge to run in a marathon, never wanted to put on running shoes and conquer a mountain run. I am not a runner, never have been. I have however, used running as a tool to get more in shape. In high school I ran to fit into my prom dress. In college I ran to fit into my skinny jeans. Past college, there hasn't been much running. However, I needed a tool to help me fit into my swim suit and I thought running was the answer.
I had my second child a little over seven weeks ago. At six weeks my OB gave me the green light to get back into exercising. Yesterday my three-year-old wanted to play in the sprinkler. Yesterday morning we bought our pool pass for the summer. Yesterday, I went to my bedroom, pulled out a bathing suit, tried to put it on and started laughing at the sight. Oh was it a sight!! Sagging skin, back fat, legs as big as tree trunks but veiny and rippling so they looked more like the trunk of an elderly tree over a hundred years old, massive boobs that look like they are tatooed with blue veins all over them, and divots in my hips where my skin had to stretch over my ever growing hips (oh yeah they call those stretch marks, well they look more like lines carved out of my skin). All this to say that my body is NOT ready to try to fit into a bathing suit, let alone, look half-way decent in a bathing suit!!
So when my husband came home from work and both kids had been fed and bathed, I decided to go for a run. I needed to get my body back in some short of shape, I needed to do SOMETHING!
So I took the first running steps. My entire body jiggled. I kid you not, my ENTIRE body jiggled! Every piece of skin, every stretched muscle, every extra ounce of body fat, EVERYTHING jiggled. Well my boobs more went thunk, thunking then jiggling, but everything else jiggled. I pushed past the jiggling, I told myself "this was why I was running, to get rid of the jiggling!" I continued down the road, I started to breath a little harder, then a little harder, and I told myself "you pushed out a baby, you can handle a little run."
Lots of self talks throughout this run... I told myself I was going to get back in shape so I could wear my college skinny jeans again... I told myself, I was going to start running every night so I could be like that neighbor that looks like she is running on air, beautiful, skinny, and so easy! I told myself that the dog really was running too (even though the dog was simply walking next to me because I was running that slow)... I told myself, I could make it around the entire neighborhood. I told myself that, that high school boy staring at me from the passing car wasn't just looking at my flapping money makers (well they are more like money savers, every dollar I save per formula bottle I would be spending if I didn't have working boob feeders) and he was thinking, "what a hot mom," And then I told myself to stop lying... that boy was probably thinking "oh you poor lady, you look like you are about to die!" ...I will NEVER fit in my skinny jean again... I will never have time to run every day again ...and the dog is really just WALKING!
...and then I stopped running.
... do you think they give refunds for pool passes due to sagging skin, massive legs, and back fat?
I hope so...
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Monday, February 6, 2012
The Simple Things
I asked my son what he was thankful for today and I realized I haven't made a list of my own thankfulness is a very, very long time. So I began a thank you list. I have been very negative lately and today I realized I need to stop! I need to start being more thankful for there is so much to be thankful for and most of the time, we take for granted the simple things that we should be praising God for each and every day.
Thank you God...
...for hot, hot showers with blasting country music instead of "Jake and the Never Land Pirates" that consumes the other portions of my days
...for the sweet, sweet sound of silence, just the hushed deep breathing of my child fast asleep
...for the sweet smell of clean sheets on my bed
...for the random sweet text from a friend
...for mother-in-law's banana bread and mother's homemade cookies
...for calming hubby hugs during mid-afternoon lunch breaks
...for nice receptionists at the doctor's office
...for the love between a boy and his dog
...for friendships that last decades
...for friendships that last only seconds
...for sappy song lyrics that leave me welling with tears during a random drive to the store
...for reminders of Your power
...for Grace
...for watercolors and children that love to paint with them
...for Christmas cards
...for lotion when every inch of skin is itchy and stretching on my pregnant body
...for a recliner when my pregnancy toes are sausages and my ankles no longer exist
...for other mom's who understand the roller coaster ride everyday becomes
...for Super Bowls and Championship games (can we please cut the non-family friendly commercials please! I'm tired of covering my child's eyes and ears and my belly for goodness sake!!)
...for families and generations of love
...for church families full of support and prayers
...for hardworking people
...for a very convicting book to humble and remind me of so many things
...for nail polish for my awful looking feet/toes
...for Oreo cookies and milk
...for clean, cold water
...for the bubbly laugh of a baby
...for the picture that stops my breath
...for the memories of specials moments that stopped time
...for weddings
...for engagement rings and promises that last eternity
...for warm sunshine on a cold day
...for Vick's vapor rub to calm a cough
...for Mary's song
...for sports
...for good morning hugs
...for the kick of the baby inside me, reminding me, to never, ever take a second of my life for granted
...for checking "cleaning the bathrooms" off my to-do list
...for pickles
...for the hilarious sound of my son trying to sing along to his favorite song, he just can't quite keep up
...for baseball and the joy it brings to my son's face
...for home
..for the frozen morning ground that doesn't allow a dash of mud on my dog's paws, that leaves me with a few extra seconds in the morning to drink my coffee instead of cleaning off muddy paws
I am going to be thankful today instead of complaining. I am going to try and remember the good things over the bad. And I am going to keep adding to this list, every day of my life.
Thank you God...
...for hot, hot showers with blasting country music instead of "Jake and the Never Land Pirates" that consumes the other portions of my days
...for the sweet, sweet sound of silence, just the hushed deep breathing of my child fast asleep
...for the sweet smell of clean sheets on my bed
...for the random sweet text from a friend
...for mother-in-law's banana bread and mother's homemade cookies
...for calming hubby hugs during mid-afternoon lunch breaks
...for nice receptionists at the doctor's office
...for the love between a boy and his dog
...for friendships that last decades
...for friendships that last only seconds
...for sappy song lyrics that leave me welling with tears during a random drive to the store
...for reminders of Your power
...for Grace
...for watercolors and children that love to paint with them
...for Christmas cards
...for lotion when every inch of skin is itchy and stretching on my pregnant body
...for a recliner when my pregnancy toes are sausages and my ankles no longer exist
...for other mom's who understand the roller coaster ride everyday becomes
...for Super Bowls and Championship games (can we please cut the non-family friendly commercials please! I'm tired of covering my child's eyes and ears and my belly for goodness sake!!)
...for families and generations of love
...for church families full of support and prayers
...for hardworking people
...for a very convicting book to humble and remind me of so many things
...for nail polish for my awful looking feet/toes
...for Oreo cookies and milk
...for clean, cold water
...for the bubbly laugh of a baby
...for the picture that stops my breath
...for the memories of specials moments that stopped time
...for weddings
...for engagement rings and promises that last eternity
...for warm sunshine on a cold day
...for Vick's vapor rub to calm a cough
...for Mary's song
...for sports
...for good morning hugs
...for the kick of the baby inside me, reminding me, to never, ever take a second of my life for granted
...for checking "cleaning the bathrooms" off my to-do list
...for pickles
...for the hilarious sound of my son trying to sing along to his favorite song, he just can't quite keep up
...for baseball and the joy it brings to my son's face
...for home
..for the frozen morning ground that doesn't allow a dash of mud on my dog's paws, that leaves me with a few extra seconds in the morning to drink my coffee instead of cleaning off muddy paws
I am going to be thankful today instead of complaining. I am going to try and remember the good things over the bad. And I am going to keep adding to this list, every day of my life.
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