Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Giving and Getting Christmas-time

Christmas time with a three year old, Oh! what a glorious time of year! Never ending events and winter activities to take him to; Never ending exciting adventures to partake of... the time of year when D's eyes light up over every other question that comes out of peoples' mouths. "What are you asking Santa for, for Christmas? How many more days till Christmas? Where are you going today?" Every question has an exciting answer, and my son's eyes are filled with that same excitement and anticipation. It is completely contagious. So far we have been able to stay healthy enough at our house this Christmas to enjoy many adventures to see Santa and to enjoy the holiday spirit. We have been blessed with short lines and fairly wonderful Santas (very pleasantly surprised with the two Santa's we met, Santa #3, at the Zoo, not so enthusiastic but I think it could have been the elf that kept him very short with every child). Last year was not this way at all so I guess we were really blessed with terrific timing and nice Santas who really do enjoy children and want to make them smile. D's new understanding of the Christmas season, what this time of year means, special outings, gifts, special time with family and friends, special cookies and snacks, is like seeing Christmas for the first time all over again. He is just old enough to really catch the exciting energy of Christmas and it is sooo fun!

We have also tried to help a very egotistic three year old, grasp the meaning of giving this time of year. From sending Compassion gifts, to helping wrap family members' gifts, knowing it isn't going to be for him, but for someone else, we have bee trying to help him understand the joy in giving as well as getting. At times he seems to really grasp on and gets excited about giving, other times, he just wants to know what he is getting and slips into the selfish mode we all find ourselves in at some point during the holidays.

But the most amazing moments to me are when D tries to make sense of the true Christmas story. He loves to read a book at night and it is the Night Before Christmas from the animals' points of views. The donkey talks about how his "brother" donkey was the one that Mary rode on when they went to Bethlehem. And the chicken and cows recall what the baby sounded like when it cried in the manger. His eyes light up with the puppy page, the same way the book talks about the puppies attentively listening closely to the story so that they can one day tell their puppies the story of Christmas. A three year old tries to make sense of a baby in a barn, with a mommy and daddy and all of these visitors and animals coming to see him. He tries to understand how that little baby was born so long ago, in a different time, but that, that same baby is the one that helps him make good choices everyday. That same baby is the one that he prays to at night and when he needs help. He is the same baby that will one day take him to Heaven with Him (he always tries to figure out if Jesus will take him by boat, or car, or motorcycle or airplane to Heaven:) In November, D asked Jesus into his heart. It was an awesome moment. Probably the coolest moment I have ever had as a mother, but it was completely prompted by D and more importantly the Holy Spirit. At a random lunchtime meal, D asked if he could pray and ask Jesus into his heart. He asked Jesus to forgive him of all of the bad things he does and he asked Jesus to come into his heart to help him make good choices and so that one day he could go to Heaven. An awesome moment, so much greater then I, or the words I coached him along to say, but even at three and a half, D was sincere in his request, sincere in his humility, and sincere in his need for Jesus to come into his life to help him. There are still very comical discussions and the understanding D has at three and a half is very limited (such as, Jesus went down his throat, into his belly and lives in his heart and helps him:) but I believe with all I know, that D was completely sincere and Jesus answered his request and the Holy Spirit is helping him everyday. I think that Jesus is a part of his life now and he is going to be made into a new creation through the Holy Spirit as he gains understanding and knowledge.

And so this Christmas, as I wrap presents in the comfort of a quiet home, everyone asleep but me, I can't help but be grateful for the gifts that the little baby brought so many years ago. A gift that my son recieved and a gift that He keeps giving to me day after day. A continual forgiveness. As I think about the day and how many times I cussed out the awful driver in front of me, or got really annoyed with the cashier at the store, or screamed at D because he kept getting out of bed wayyyy past his bedtime, I am thankful for the constant forgiveness that the little baby Jesus grants, because I f-up a lot, every day. I lose my cool this time of year a lot because of late night wrapping sessions and awful traffic, and overfilled stores. And when I have a quiet moment to recall my awful attempts at peace on earth and goodwill toward man, I am deeply grateful for the forgiveness of that little Babe, because without Him, I would be in a sad state this time of year and every time of year. And so this time of year is about getting. Getting a gift so significant and so overwhelming, there are times I can't wrap my mind around it, but it is a gift so needed and so undeserved. And so I go to bed tonight, knowing I fall short of being a perfect mom, a perfect gift giver, a perfect fellow human, but knowing Jesus came as a baby to take away my bad choices and to help me everyday to make better choices. As I remind my three year old so say thank you and to make better choices then throwing fits, I am reminded of the bad choices I make daily and am eternally grateful for that baby that came to take my sin for me and carry it to the cross with Him. Christmas is about giving to others and enjoying the festivities and fun Santa's, and Christmas is about a baby Jesus, who gave me the sweetest gift I could ever ask for, who took from me all the bad choices I make and have made and took them to the cross with Him so that I would never have to pay the price for the wrong I do everyday. He gave me a gift that keeps giving. As He forgives, He sends the Holy Spirit, another gift, to help me make better decisions and to help me, just like D prays every night. And for that, I can be thankful that God sent His son, baby Jesus, to be the best present and the best part of the Christmas season.