Parenthood: A Bumpy Ride

When you prepare for parenthood, you prepare for the practical things: baby gear, books about feeding, cleaning, wiping baby; how to's of how to made baby food more nutritious and how to create stimuli for baby at all stages. You read about "baby blues" and devour hundreds of pages of baby names.

You also prepare for the emotional aspect of parenthood.   You've seen the commercial of Mom tearing up after baby takes her first steps, or proud Dad smiling when his son learns to throw a ball. But what I didn't, I don't think many people do or can prepare for, is the vast spectrum and massive volume of emotions a parent deals with, even DAILY!

When you trudge through life with someone, a little person, you experience emotions in ways and in number that you didn't even realize existed.  Because to them, getting their face wiped is a World War III kind of tragedy, and pushing the button on the elevator is the cooler then winning the Lombardi Trophy! And their ups and downs become your ups and downs.  You feel what they feel, and you feel because of their reaction or behavior.  And the daily emotional roller coaster wares on you.  It makes you wonder if it is worth feeling anymore.  One of the best pieces of advice someone gave me while I was pregnant, was to "stop and feel the moment with your child".  Allow yourself time to feel the emotions, and feel what they are feeling.  So much of our time is spent trying to control our emotions, sometimes we just need to cry with our baby who is colicky, or laugh with our toddler who is painting with his own pee, or feel the butterflies when our daughter steps out onto the dance floor for her first performance.  We are allowed to feel with our children.  It is difficult, it is EXHAUSTING, but in the end, I think we will understand them better and help them then to control and regulate their emotions in a healthy balance.

I have to say that before becoming a parent myself, I had very ridged expectations of myself and expectations of all other parents as well.  After being gut-wretchingly humbled by parenthood to two totally different children, I now have learned NEVER to judge another parent until you learn the whole story.... parenthood ups and downs have a way bringing out things in you that you least expected and maybe didn't even realize existed!  Many times the reaction that comes out of me, surprises me more then the kids! Parenthood highs and lows make you stronger in so many ways, but also breaks you down, down, down.... And in public those emotions are even more intense because you are aware of how your child's actions reflect on you and how you are able or unable to control your reaction to your emotions.  So next time you see a kid throwing a tantrum, or a parent loosing their cool, give them a break, cut them some slack, and trust me, it will happen to you too!

I have also come to realize that when a positive emotion washes over me as a parent, that trying to push it down, is the last thing I need to do for me, even if it means bawling my eyes out during the third inning of t-ball game... the highs keep me going through the lows... the ups help me get over the bumps, and the laughter keeps me smiling through the tears.  Parenthood is a journey of ups and downs, highs and lows, but really, the only way to help prepare you, is to say "ride the roller coaster of emotions, feel every bump, and enjoy every up!"