I do not claim to be a breastfeeding expert. I am simply a mother who made the decision to breastfeed two babies and this is a little of what I learned from the experience.
Here are just a few things I learned:
#1. Every mom has to decide for herself how she is going to feed her baby and why. She has to be comfortable with her decisions and on the same page with her partner and family.
My Experience: I wanted to breast feed my babies. My family was very comfortable with this, my mom had breastfed us, but my husband's family was not. It was foreign to them, none of them had breastfed their babies. But my husband and I were on the complete same page and with his support, we were able to communicate and educate his family and they became very supportive of our family decision. My mother in law was wonderful because we had open communication and she supported our decisions. It takes time and an open mind but with the recent studies showing its healthy impact on the baby, many families are very open to it now even if they themselves did not do it with their own kids.
#2. Find someone who can support you and talk you through your feeding struggles, because they will happen; the baby won't latch, the formulas are giving your baby painful gas, there will always be something!
My Experience: My mother and my sisters as well as friends were my sounding board. My mom really helped me through the beginning stages and ups and downs of breastfeeding. I could call my sister and ask her any question because she had gone through it three times herself and was open to talking about it with me. My husband and I also took a breastfeeding class that helped prepare us as well as allowed us to meet other parents that were trying it out. When things got tough and I wanted to quit because I didn't feel like a confident feeder, my family and friends helped me through the ups downs.
#3. Be flexible, you may decide upon one way to feed and then that way won't be your best option, be flexible and open minded to change.
My Experience: I had to be flexible from one baby to the next. With D I stayed home and exclusively breastfed. With L I part time worked and pumped and he had bottles. Both experiences fit our family's need at that particular time. Babies adjust really well!
#4. Don't be too hard on yourself.
My Experience: with my first baby, breastfeeding was pretty stressful at times. I tried to do everything exactly right, at the right time, with the exact correct routine. I enjoyed breastfeeding more with my second baby because I was more relaxed. I was more worried about listening to my baby instead of listening to what the books and doctors and nurses were telling me to do.
#5. Every mom will have her own experiences and her own story and its OK if your story doesn't match anyone's because chances are, it won't!
My Experience: Babies are all special, moms are all unique, and our bodies are all different! My first baby responded much different then my second. My friend's baby had a much different eating schedule then my baby, and my sister's baby had different tendencies then my baby! But we are all great moms and our babies are all healthy kids now!
#6. Its OK to ask questions!
My Experience: My pediatrician is awesome, but sometimes I think he is crazy; he gave me his home phone and his cell phone number! And yes, I used them both at certain times. The internet, friends, mothers, mother in laws, grandma's are great but sometimes you just need to call your doctor / nurse and ask them, and that's OK! They are a wonderful sounding board and have probably seen and heard it all. I thought I would only ask questions with my first baby, but I had questions with my second too, because again, babies are different!
#7. Even moms who decide to breastfeed, decide to do it for different lengths of time, and for different reasons.
My Experience: I wanted to breastfeed my babies for their first year until I could give them whole cow milk and then I would wean them off. Well both my babies started to wean themselves at ten months old and I was only breastfeeding once a day at a year, no weaning needed, because they were ready to be done. The first baby stopped at eleven months old and refused a bottle so I had to get formula in his cereal and I was teaching him the sippy until he got the hang of it and could have whole milk; it was a stressful couple of weeks, my mom can attest to that... but we all survived and he LOVES milk NOW, even as a FOUR year old, he picks milk over any other drink 99.9% of the time.
I had friends that breastfed for the first three weeks, first six weeks, exclusively pumped and did bottles, breastfed for two years, breastfed through flu season (four months). Everyone has their own plan and reasons behind their plan and that is OK!
#8. Uncomfortable Situations
My Experience: Becuase I was a young mom with my first baby, most of my friends were not having babies yet and a lot of people around me didn't breastfeed. So I felt like I was constantly making people uncomfortable or trying to prove that breastfeeding was the right thing to do for my baby. Looking back, it was exhausting and not needed. If your friends/family/neighbor/stranger are uncomfortable with your nursing in front of them, tell them they can leave or simply slip out of the room and tell them you need some alone time with the baby. When people get frustrated that they can't help feed the baby, remind them that when the baby is eating solids, they can have lots of chances to feed the baby. And if they are uncomfortable, that is OK! They don't have to be comfortable and you don't have to prove it to them. You don't have to make them comfortable and they don't have to be; one day they will understand and if that day is not today, then that's OK!
With my second baby, I was older, I had been around lots of moms and babies and I was not so nervous and my friends and family were much more comfortable too. They had also started making really cool nursing shaws (or whatever you want to call them) and so nursing in public was much more comfortable and it was much easier to hide things in front of family and friends. I was more relaxed and this made others more relaxed. I found a good balance between feeding my baby when he needed it, even on the run with the first kid, but also covering up enough and being aware of who was around so that hopefully I didn't make those around me uncomfortable. Sometimes I had to nurse L while standing in a bathroom stall, but that only happened a couple of times and it helped me maintain some arm muscles:)
#9. If a baby is hungry, he will eat!
My Experience: With my first baby, is worried about how much milk he was getting, if I was producing enough, if he was gaining enough weight. Bit by my second baby, I realized, my baby would eat when he was hungry! And if he didn't get enough, he, would let me know when he was hungry again!
#10. Danger: The Pacifier
My Experience: Every book I read about breastfeeding banished the binky. Well both my boys had pacifiers and they nursed for a year- well almost a year:) I did not want to be a human pacifier. I love nursing, but I need my two hours between feedings to do something with my life, esp with baby #2 because child #1 was running circles around me! So when my first baby latched on and nursed fine, I had a wonderful nurse who said, "sure give him the pacifier, just don't let anyone know I told you it was ok:) you have been nursing for hours, I think he's well fed." I am so grateful for that nurse! With D, he was happy to nurse to eat, and happy to have his pacifier to sleep. He weaned from nursing at 11 months, we weaned him (cold turckey for a week, took three days of screaming it out in bed) of the pacifier at 14 months. They say that babies get nipple confusion, and I'm sure some babies do, but L went from breast, to bottle, to pacifier just fine, he loved all three and knew exactly what all three did. Again, some breastfeeding moms don't use a pacifier and some do and either is OK!
Random Tips I Learned from Others that Really Helped Me:
** Skin to skin time with baby right after birth really does help them with feeding. I delivered at two different hospitals and their philosophy on after delivery care was very different. Hospital #1 did all of their checks of the baby and swaddled him before handing him over to me to hold him. Baby #1 took a few hours to learn how to latch and suck and it was stressful. Hosptial #2 gave me my naked son as soon as he was wiped off and he nursed before they did any checks or swaddled him. He latched and sucked instantly and it wasn't at all stressful that first feeding.
**At four to six months I take out my nighttime nursing. I give the baby cereal right before bed and lay him down awake so he learns to soothe himself to sleep instead of my nursing him to sleep, but I also give him his pacifier at bedtime to help him with self soothing. At about six to eight months, I start cutting back my nursing to just breakfast lunch and dinner unless of course he gets sick or it is summer time and he needs more fluids. This is when I introduce a sippy and encourage baby to get some fluids that way too.
Baby #1 I exclusively breastfed and he only took a pumped bottle once. This was ok but I was limited to his schedule. With baby #2 we introduced the bottle at four weeks old and he was able to do bottle and breastfeed which gave me freedom to part time work and do things with the older child; I was not limited to his eating schedule which was nice.
Again these are just a few things that worked for me and a bit of knowledge that I formed from the experience of breastfeeding two babies. Find your own feeding path and find what you and your partner are comfortable with and enjoy the time you spend feeding your baby. Find a way to make it a relaxing time shared together however you decide to do it!
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