Christmas time with a three year old, Oh! what a glorious time of year! Never ending events and winter activities to take him to; Never ending exciting adventures to partake of... the time of year when D's eyes light up over every other question that comes out of peoples' mouths. "What are you asking Santa for, for Christmas? How many more days till Christmas? Where are you going today?" Every question has an exciting answer, and my son's eyes are filled with that same excitement and anticipation. It is completely contagious. So far we have been able to stay healthy enough at our house this Christmas to enjoy many adventures to see Santa and to enjoy the holiday spirit. We have been blessed with short lines and fairly wonderful Santas (very pleasantly surprised with the two Santa's we met, Santa #3, at the Zoo, not so enthusiastic but I think it could have been the elf that kept him very short with every child). Last year was not this way at all so I guess we were really blessed with terrific timing and nice Santas who really do enjoy children and want to make them smile. D's new understanding of the Christmas season, what this time of year means, special outings, gifts, special time with family and friends, special cookies and snacks, is like seeing Christmas for the first time all over again. He is just old enough to really catch the exciting energy of Christmas and it is sooo fun!
We have also tried to help a very egotistic three year old, grasp the meaning of giving this time of year. From sending Compassion gifts, to helping wrap family members' gifts, knowing it isn't going to be for him, but for someone else, we have bee trying to help him understand the joy in giving as well as getting. At times he seems to really grasp on and gets excited about giving, other times, he just wants to know what he is getting and slips into the selfish mode we all find ourselves in at some point during the holidays.
But the most amazing moments to me are when D tries to make sense of the true Christmas story. He loves to read a book at night and it is the Night Before Christmas from the animals' points of views. The donkey talks about how his "brother" donkey was the one that Mary rode on when they went to Bethlehem. And the chicken and cows recall what the baby sounded like when it cried in the manger. His eyes light up with the puppy page, the same way the book talks about the puppies attentively listening closely to the story so that they can one day tell their puppies the story of Christmas. A three year old tries to make sense of a baby in a barn, with a mommy and daddy and all of these visitors and animals coming to see him. He tries to understand how that little baby was born so long ago, in a different time, but that, that same baby is the one that helps him make good choices everyday. That same baby is the one that he prays to at night and when he needs help. He is the same baby that will one day take him to Heaven with Him (he always tries to figure out if Jesus will take him by boat, or car, or motorcycle or airplane to Heaven:) In November, D asked Jesus into his heart. It was an awesome moment. Probably the coolest moment I have ever had as a mother, but it was completely prompted by D and more importantly the Holy Spirit. At a random lunchtime meal, D asked if he could pray and ask Jesus into his heart. He asked Jesus to forgive him of all of the bad things he does and he asked Jesus to come into his heart to help him make good choices and so that one day he could go to Heaven. An awesome moment, so much greater then I, or the words I coached him along to say, but even at three and a half, D was sincere in his request, sincere in his humility, and sincere in his need for Jesus to come into his life to help him. There are still very comical discussions and the understanding D has at three and a half is very limited (such as, Jesus went down his throat, into his belly and lives in his heart and helps him:) but I believe with all I know, that D was completely sincere and Jesus answered his request and the Holy Spirit is helping him everyday. I think that Jesus is a part of his life now and he is going to be made into a new creation through the Holy Spirit as he gains understanding and knowledge.
And so this Christmas, as I wrap presents in the comfort of a quiet home, everyone asleep but me, I can't help but be grateful for the gifts that the little baby brought so many years ago. A gift that my son recieved and a gift that He keeps giving to me day after day. A continual forgiveness. As I think about the day and how many times I cussed out the awful driver in front of me, or got really annoyed with the cashier at the store, or screamed at D because he kept getting out of bed wayyyy past his bedtime, I am thankful for the constant forgiveness that the little baby Jesus grants, because I f-up a lot, every day. I lose my cool this time of year a lot because of late night wrapping sessions and awful traffic, and overfilled stores. And when I have a quiet moment to recall my awful attempts at peace on earth and goodwill toward man, I am deeply grateful for the forgiveness of that little Babe, because without Him, I would be in a sad state this time of year and every time of year. And so this time of year is about getting. Getting a gift so significant and so overwhelming, there are times I can't wrap my mind around it, but it is a gift so needed and so undeserved. And so I go to bed tonight, knowing I fall short of being a perfect mom, a perfect gift giver, a perfect fellow human, but knowing Jesus came as a baby to take away my bad choices and to help me everyday to make better choices. As I remind my three year old so say thank you and to make better choices then throwing fits, I am reminded of the bad choices I make daily and am eternally grateful for that baby that came to take my sin for me and carry it to the cross with Him. Christmas is about giving to others and enjoying the festivities and fun Santa's, and Christmas is about a baby Jesus, who gave me the sweetest gift I could ever ask for, who took from me all the bad choices I make and have made and took them to the cross with Him so that I would never have to pay the price for the wrong I do everyday. He gave me a gift that keeps giving. As He forgives, He sends the Holy Spirit, another gift, to help me make better decisions and to help me, just like D prays every night. And for that, I can be thankful that God sent His son, baby Jesus, to be the best present and the best part of the Christmas season.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Friday, May 13, 2011
I'm Tired
It has been one of those days. It's the end of the week and I am at my wits end. It is not that my son has been extra bad, or it has been an extra demanding week. All I can say is, I'm tired...
I'm tired of hear "mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy."
I'm tired of putting on shoes, socks, sunscreen, hats. Breaking up fights between my son and his buddies. Making sure that everyone has a clean nose and a clean butt.
I'm tired of the smell of a poopy diaper.
I'm tired of cleaning up car after car after car after car during naptime.
I'm a horrible mom for saying this, but I' m tired of reading "Cars" and "I Love You Through and Through" and "The Creation Story" every day, twice a day for the last year.
I'm tired of being ordered around by two year olds. I'm tired of hearing, "banana please, cheerios, cheese please, mommy I got yogurt on my shirt, help!!!!!!"
I'm tired of being poked and prodded. I'm tired of being touched and grabbed and charged like a bull because it is football time or baseball time or tackle!
I'm tired of cleaning the dogs paws, taking the dog for a walk, making sure the dog has her medicine.
Is it so bad to say, I'm just tired of being mom today? Is that awful? I feel awful. I have been short tempered and not very patient at all today.
I don't have any excuse. All I can say is...
I'm just tired.
It's been one of those days and I'm doggon tired.
I'm tired of hear "mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy."
I'm tired of putting on shoes, socks, sunscreen, hats. Breaking up fights between my son and his buddies. Making sure that everyone has a clean nose and a clean butt.
I'm tired of the smell of a poopy diaper.
I'm tired of cleaning up car after car after car after car during naptime.
I'm a horrible mom for saying this, but I' m tired of reading "Cars" and "I Love You Through and Through" and "The Creation Story" every day, twice a day for the last year.
I'm tired of being ordered around by two year olds. I'm tired of hearing, "banana please, cheerios, cheese please, mommy I got yogurt on my shirt, help!!!!!!"
I'm tired of being poked and prodded. I'm tired of being touched and grabbed and charged like a bull because it is football time or baseball time or tackle!
I'm tired of cleaning the dogs paws, taking the dog for a walk, making sure the dog has her medicine.
Is it so bad to say, I'm just tired of being mom today? Is that awful? I feel awful. I have been short tempered and not very patient at all today.
I don't have any excuse. All I can say is...
I'm just tired.
It's been one of those days and I'm doggon tired.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Best Job on Earth
today is one of those days that i love my job as a stay at home mom. i relish the fact that my little guy will wake me up in the morning slapping the bed crying time to wake up mommy. i love the fact that after dragging myself awake i get to make him breakfast, change his clothes as we argue over what he is going to wear today and yell at him four times to stop torturing the dog. then i get to listen to his cries when his buddy shows up and wants his favorite toy. the crying will change over to a cry of excitement when the two race through the yard, seeing who can beat the other one as they both tumble to the ground in their excitement and their feet going faster then their legs. then i get to go for a long walk with the dog and the two boys making sure everyone stays a safe distance from the road and exchanging words with a neighbor that might be my only adult conversation all day until my husband gets home. the boys run to the back charging the swings, arguing and screaming over who goes in what swing. we pass the time under the sun, running and swinging and blowing bubbles. this is when i love being a mom. between the poopy diapers, the arguments, the complaining, the whining and the exasperated moments, i relish these small moments out in the sun, playing and enjoying the screams, the laughter, the tumbles, and the games of fetch. these are the days i think that i have the best job on earth
Monday, May 2, 2011
Ecclesiastes - back to Muddy Paws
So... through some random events, I decided to read the book of Ecclesiastes. A book of the Bible I hadn't read in about ten years. I couldn't even tell you what it was about or what I might read in it. So I started reading it and I had to laugh out loud, it sounded like what was going on through my head throughout the day.
"Get up, kiss the husband goodbye, let the dog out, let her back in, wipe her extremely muddy paws off (because it hasn't stopped raining in weeks), hug my kid, get him and his buddies breakfast, check my email, do some coaching work, clean up breakfast, put away last night's dishes, break up a fight between my son and his buddies, clean up, take the dog and my son and his buddies for a walk, get them lunch, sit down and write one email, clean up lunch, put on a show so I can eat lunch and have a few minutes of quiet.... and the day goes on and on, and over and over I say to myself, meaningless, 90% of what I do day in and day out is meaningless... I am not saving lives, I am not curing cancer, I am impacting .000001% of this world.... really does anyone care that I wipe my dog's paws when she comes in from a swampy back yard? Maybe my husband, but really he only notices if I don't wipe her well enough and she leaves marks. Most of what I do are things that no one will EVER NOTICE. Not a boss, not a friend, not even my son will remember what I did for him today. He wakes up from his nap, needing something else, onto the next thing. And so sometimes I find myself questioning, why? Why spend this part of my life doing things no one will ever notice, no one will ever even care, it will never impact a soul. My son may walk around with a dirty face and hands, his buddies and him might never learn how to share, learn their ABC's, or learn 'Twinkle, Twinkle' but does it really matter, or is it all meaningless?"
And so I began reading Ecclesiates in this state of doubt, frustration, despair and to my wonderful surprise, the author agreed with me, he, himself was asking these same questions, thinking these same thoughts. Over and over he sorrowfully laments, "this too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind." He also states that "I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me." (vs. 17) Even the titles of the chapters "Pleasures are Meaningless, Wisdom and Folly are Meaningless, Toil is Meaningless, Advancement is Meaningless" seemed to be whispering the same notions I was screaming in my head "my life seems meaningless a lot of days!!"
But while the author a Ecclesiastes is lamenting about the meaninglessness of life, he also starts to find nuggets of hope. Amongst his sorrow, he charges in with the most well known chapter "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the sun. (3:1)" And he follows it up with "I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil - this is a gift from God. (3:14)"
He continues to find nuggets of hope inside each little part of life. He also examines the heart of the wealth, the proud, and all of those that are not content in life. He uncovers the truths about our human nature that wants us to be unhappy and discontent with life. Satan wants us to find meaninglessness in this life. He doesn't want us to see past tomorrow, past our toil, past our soil and into Heaven and what God has in store for us there. He wants us to focus on the ugly and hard part of our lives and stay down in the depths of the depression that this causes us. But God gives us the gift of contentment and satisfaction of this life if we ask Him. If we walk with Him and are humbled by His all-knowing plan. We don't know what will come next. I don't know how many more days it is going to rain and I am going to have to wipe my dogs damn muddy paws!! But He does. He knows. And He begs us to find contentment in His plan and His guidance. He asks us to participate in a satisfaction for life. A satisfaction of the toil of the everyday life we have here on earth for a little while.
The author of Ecclesiastes ends with this verse: "Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil. (12:13)" It is our duty to enjoy life, find satisfaction in the toil of everyday life, to live by the commandments, and trust in God's plan.
As I lament in my wearisome mundane life, I have to use my moments when I feel nuggets the Holy Spirit is teaching me. For how much I dread washing my dogs feet, I am reminded of how Jesus washed his disciples feet, how my mother washed my feet as a child, how I wash my sons feet. It is humbling to think that God has a plan and a purpose for the washing of my dog's muddy paws and my attitude has to be a satisfaction in the toil of that everyday duty set before me.
"Get up, kiss the husband goodbye, let the dog out, let her back in, wipe her extremely muddy paws off (because it hasn't stopped raining in weeks), hug my kid, get him and his buddies breakfast, check my email, do some coaching work, clean up breakfast, put away last night's dishes, break up a fight between my son and his buddies, clean up, take the dog and my son and his buddies for a walk, get them lunch, sit down and write one email, clean up lunch, put on a show so I can eat lunch and have a few minutes of quiet.... and the day goes on and on, and over and over I say to myself, meaningless, 90% of what I do day in and day out is meaningless... I am not saving lives, I am not curing cancer, I am impacting .000001% of this world.... really does anyone care that I wipe my dog's paws when she comes in from a swampy back yard? Maybe my husband, but really he only notices if I don't wipe her well enough and she leaves marks. Most of what I do are things that no one will EVER NOTICE. Not a boss, not a friend, not even my son will remember what I did for him today. He wakes up from his nap, needing something else, onto the next thing. And so sometimes I find myself questioning, why? Why spend this part of my life doing things no one will ever notice, no one will ever even care, it will never impact a soul. My son may walk around with a dirty face and hands, his buddies and him might never learn how to share, learn their ABC's, or learn 'Twinkle, Twinkle' but does it really matter, or is it all meaningless?"
And so I began reading Ecclesiates in this state of doubt, frustration, despair and to my wonderful surprise, the author agreed with me, he, himself was asking these same questions, thinking these same thoughts. Over and over he sorrowfully laments, "this too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind." He also states that "I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me." (vs. 17) Even the titles of the chapters "Pleasures are Meaningless, Wisdom and Folly are Meaningless, Toil is Meaningless, Advancement is Meaningless" seemed to be whispering the same notions I was screaming in my head "my life seems meaningless a lot of days!!"
But while the author a Ecclesiastes is lamenting about the meaninglessness of life, he also starts to find nuggets of hope. Amongst his sorrow, he charges in with the most well known chapter "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the sun. (3:1)" And he follows it up with "I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil - this is a gift from God. (3:14)"
He continues to find nuggets of hope inside each little part of life. He also examines the heart of the wealth, the proud, and all of those that are not content in life. He uncovers the truths about our human nature that wants us to be unhappy and discontent with life. Satan wants us to find meaninglessness in this life. He doesn't want us to see past tomorrow, past our toil, past our soil and into Heaven and what God has in store for us there. He wants us to focus on the ugly and hard part of our lives and stay down in the depths of the depression that this causes us. But God gives us the gift of contentment and satisfaction of this life if we ask Him. If we walk with Him and are humbled by His all-knowing plan. We don't know what will come next. I don't know how many more days it is going to rain and I am going to have to wipe my dogs damn muddy paws!! But He does. He knows. And He begs us to find contentment in His plan and His guidance. He asks us to participate in a satisfaction for life. A satisfaction of the toil of the everyday life we have here on earth for a little while.
The author of Ecclesiastes ends with this verse: "Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil. (12:13)" It is our duty to enjoy life, find satisfaction in the toil of everyday life, to live by the commandments, and trust in God's plan.
As I lament in my wearisome mundane life, I have to use my moments when I feel nuggets the Holy Spirit is teaching me. For how much I dread washing my dogs feet, I am reminded of how Jesus washed his disciples feet, how my mother washed my feet as a child, how I wash my sons feet. It is humbling to think that God has a plan and a purpose for the washing of my dog's muddy paws and my attitude has to be a satisfaction in the toil of that everyday duty set before me.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
blogging under the influence
ok so, just a disclaimer. i am blogging under the influence of one and a half margaritas... it has been a while since i have even had a glass of wine let along a margarita so i apologize but here it goes, i feel inspired.... so tonight was maundy thursday. we have always had a good friday service but we decide to have a maudey thursday service so my husband and i get my in-laws to watch my son and go to the service. i promise my husband dinner afterwards so we go... and at first not a big crowd, kind of intimidating, but you know what? amazing service. a really really cool service. small groups praying together. you know what i realized? god is so huge. he is so great. he is bigger then even my biggest doubts, my biggest regrets. it has been a really, really rough week. i have lost my temper with my son and husband way, way too much. my quiet time has been non existant. my thanksgiving prayer has not even crossed my mind. my repentece has been shallow to say the least. i feel like jim tressel caught in a lie; stuck, wrong and feeling frustrated and dumb... i know deep down that god has a plan for me and my family and my son... but i only want to know, what is next? what is in it for me? how will my son succeed? how will my husband achieve his dreams? i feel like god was saying to me. karra who the hell are you to question my plan? who are to say this day sucks? you know my son used the word sucks today? i felt like a failure, neglectful mom today, my son is saying sucks and my husbnd would rather snore then talk to me, the love of his wife. i cant let the dreary ohio weather, the crabby kids, the hormones get control of my emotions and how i respond. i have to respond with gods strenth and wisdom. i had a really good margarita tonight. my husband and i had a night full of prayers, laughs and great conversation. i realized tonight i am such a blessed person. i have an amazing man who knows jesus as his savior, not only do i get to spend this life with him but i get to spend eternity with him. i have a son that is healthy and strong. every day i pray that god protects him and every day i thank god i have another day with my beautiful son. discipline has to happen, life has to happen and god put us on this earth to love him first, love each other and enjoy this beautiful world he gave us... sometimes i get sooo caught up in the perfections of life. the little things. sometimes life is about enjoying a margarita and a laugh and the bed with your beloved. sometimes it's about laughing with your two-year-old and his buddies over spilled milk... sometimes it's mourning the loss of an amazing person in your life whom you will miss day after day... sometimes its about praying with your spiritual grandpa... sometimes its about playing the game to your hearts content, coaching so hard you leave the gym in tears of exhaustion... sometimes its about six sweet hours of sleep in your own bed. god gave us little pleasures on this earth. he gave us the pleasure of smiles, laughter, children, hugs, kisses, intimate relations with the love of your life, amazing food, and rainbows. he also allowed us to make choices like letting satan into our lives and causing cancer, and pain, and painful childbirth, and disease, and crippling anger. this world can be ugly, even scary. that's when it is so amazing to know that my savior, gods son lives and reigns again. he conquored death as a perfect, pure soul so that all the shit i do, all the sin, the ugly parts of my life are washed away with his perfect gifts. i could never go to church enough, never apologize enough to my son, husband, friends; to repay all of the hurt and ugliness i have caused the, thank you god, on this maundey thursday, that even though i suck and even though i fall short again and agian and again, jesus' love, blood, sacrifice is enough to help me reach salvation and have eternity with him. my god is so great so strong and so mighty. thank you god for love, for family, for a son, for a husband, for a warm bed. it may not what we planned it to be, but god guides the way. he is my god and my salvation. god is sooo good to me. i am in love every single day, i awake with the man of the dreams and the boy of my dreams. my god is so wonderdful to allow me these dreams and these earthly pleasures. thank you god for your son and his reserection over death so i may live again in the happiest place, heaven. my god is good and so great. i just pray that my own son feels that relationship and realizes its not what we accomplish on earth but how we love in humilty, every day asking forgiveness that saves us... ok im exhausted and my lovely two year old will be up in a couple of hours. but i have to tell the world, my god is soo great
Friday, January 28, 2011
Tired or just a Mom?
I had a mom tell me today that she had called up her mom to vent about how exhausted she had been feeling. Her mother's response, "well you better start praying for inner strength, because you are a mom now, you are always going to be tired." I love this quote, and part of the reason I am blogging it is so that I don't forget it! It is soooo true. I am always, always, always exhausted. I wake up exhausted, I go to bed exhausted. If I get a good seven hours of sleep, I am exhausted because I got too much sleep and my body isn't used to it! Every mom that I know is tired, all of the time!
However, as much as this person was upset with her mother for not having any sympathy for her, her mom makes a good point. We are mothers. We are at a point in our lives when we are always going to be tired. Everyday life is going to be tiring and the hard days are going to be even more exhausting. We can whine about it or we can ask for strength from the Lord and do what we can to forget about being tired. I tend to forget being tired by drinking way, way too much coffee! But sometimes I get caught up in a selfish thinking that I am the only damn tired mom on the Earth! When single, working, sick mothers everywhere are ten times more tired then me and have a much better attitude about life. I may be tired, but I bet the mom who has to go to chemo once a week is a heck of a lot more tired then I am and she still has to put on a smile and do the laundry and make her kids' lunches for school. Life is never easy for parents. We can whine and complain or we can do something about it! (Like stop at Starbucks after storyhour:) Ok, more healthy ideas maybe more like pray a little more, be more thankful, and enjoy the little moments more. Kids grow up really, really fast, and I can spend my time being tired, or I can spend my time being a mom to them. I will always be tired, but I won't always get these precious moments with my kid!
However, as much as this person was upset with her mother for not having any sympathy for her, her mom makes a good point. We are mothers. We are at a point in our lives when we are always going to be tired. Everyday life is going to be tiring and the hard days are going to be even more exhausting. We can whine about it or we can ask for strength from the Lord and do what we can to forget about being tired. I tend to forget being tired by drinking way, way too much coffee! But sometimes I get caught up in a selfish thinking that I am the only damn tired mom on the Earth! When single, working, sick mothers everywhere are ten times more tired then me and have a much better attitude about life. I may be tired, but I bet the mom who has to go to chemo once a week is a heck of a lot more tired then I am and she still has to put on a smile and do the laundry and make her kids' lunches for school. Life is never easy for parents. We can whine and complain or we can do something about it! (Like stop at Starbucks after storyhour:) Ok, more healthy ideas maybe more like pray a little more, be more thankful, and enjoy the little moments more. Kids grow up really, really fast, and I can spend my time being tired, or I can spend my time being a mom to them. I will always be tired, but I won't always get these precious moments with my kid!
Play Group or Staff Meeting?
For some reason, I have been on the sidelines looking in at playgroup lately. Most of the time it is because I am playing referee to all of the kids, but it gives me a chance to listen to the conversations of the mom's. If any of you have been a mom part of a playgroup, you will completely understand this blog. If you aren't a mom or haven't been to a playgroup, you will understand once you are part of this unique experience.
When I was a young mom, I felt very different and separated from people. I had a newborn and none of my close friends had kids of their own and most of my friends had moved away. I was surrounded by family and church family and loved them, but was looking for a group of mom's/dad's that would feel like a place where I fit in. So I went to a gym class with my son. Met some mom's and they invited me to this thing called "playdate." I think the reason they refer to them as "playdates," is because I was more nervous about my first playdate then my first real date with a boy! I wanted to make sure my son was well fed so he didn't get crabby; I wanted to look nice, but not over do it; I wanted to sound exciting, but not take over the conversation. It felt more like a job interview then a time for kids to get together to "play." Would I be accepted into this group of mom's? Would one of those mom's be my best friend? I learned to chill out after a while about play group. My first playgroup didn't even work out. I was the odd one out in the group and I didn't fit it, but it was fun for a while. I learned a good deal from those mom's even in the few group "meetings" we had together. I finally have found a "playgroup" that works for me and my son. The mom's and families in it aren't really that much alike, but we make it work. We don't always get along, and I don't always feel like I completely "fit in" but for the most part, we have fun every time we get together. Recently, I went to a new playgroup, just because my friend invited me and it was something else to do with the boys during the week. As sort of an outsider looking in, I realized that when mom's get together, it is almost like a staff meeting for a company or school. We each have our own child, with our own situations, backgrounds, and personalities. But we come together during this time to swap ideas; compare our children, brands, and newest child fad; we vent about the other parts of our lives; whine about how much we miss our lives "before kids"; brag about how much our kid knows. It is the one time a week, we get a chance to talk to other adults that are going through similar frustrations, joys, struggles, and accomplishments. We don't get to have an evaluation done by our boss, but we can have a "well done" hug from a fellow mom. It is almost like satellite branches of a company coming together to update each other on how well their part of the company is running.
During my time BD (before Dylan), I used to go to staff meetings for schools. Sometimes, it was a meeting where one person in charge stepped up and told us what we needed to do, but a lot of the times, it was time for teachers and staff to present ideas, compare classroom situations, brag about something they accomplished or one of their students accomplished, argue over the best way to do something. In many ways, playdate is like a staff meetings for mom's. We make announcements about where we are in life, "my kid just got his top front teeth, finally the constant diarrhea and drooling will stop." We compare brands "well pampers is better because it is softer and more pliable" "well Huggies has better overnight diapers." We ask advice "is John Doe in a toddler bed yet, because Nancy Drew is starting to crawl out of her crib, do I need to start that transition?" We make judgments, "well shouldn't he be eating solids by now?" And if you have a steady playgroup that meets on a regular basis, you start taking notes and then check on the progress weekly, "You said she wasn't eating veggies last week, have you started implementing them into other foods so she is getting the vitamins she needs?" Playdate is in theory supposed to be a time when kids get together to "play" which most of the time happens, but really it is for mom's to get together for their weekly staff meeting. There are times that I really get annoyed by a judgement or the constant comparing that is done when mom's get together, but I have to say that I look forward to my "weekly staff meeting." I look forward to the check-ins, updates, arguments, and presentations. It makes me feel like I am not alone in this crazy world of being a "mom."
When I was a young mom, I felt very different and separated from people. I had a newborn and none of my close friends had kids of their own and most of my friends had moved away. I was surrounded by family and church family and loved them, but was looking for a group of mom's/dad's that would feel like a place where I fit in. So I went to a gym class with my son. Met some mom's and they invited me to this thing called "playdate." I think the reason they refer to them as "playdates," is because I was more nervous about my first playdate then my first real date with a boy! I wanted to make sure my son was well fed so he didn't get crabby; I wanted to look nice, but not over do it; I wanted to sound exciting, but not take over the conversation. It felt more like a job interview then a time for kids to get together to "play." Would I be accepted into this group of mom's? Would one of those mom's be my best friend? I learned to chill out after a while about play group. My first playgroup didn't even work out. I was the odd one out in the group and I didn't fit it, but it was fun for a while. I learned a good deal from those mom's even in the few group "meetings" we had together. I finally have found a "playgroup" that works for me and my son. The mom's and families in it aren't really that much alike, but we make it work. We don't always get along, and I don't always feel like I completely "fit in" but for the most part, we have fun every time we get together. Recently, I went to a new playgroup, just because my friend invited me and it was something else to do with the boys during the week. As sort of an outsider looking in, I realized that when mom's get together, it is almost like a staff meeting for a company or school. We each have our own child, with our own situations, backgrounds, and personalities. But we come together during this time to swap ideas; compare our children, brands, and newest child fad; we vent about the other parts of our lives; whine about how much we miss our lives "before kids"; brag about how much our kid knows. It is the one time a week, we get a chance to talk to other adults that are going through similar frustrations, joys, struggles, and accomplishments. We don't get to have an evaluation done by our boss, but we can have a "well done" hug from a fellow mom. It is almost like satellite branches of a company coming together to update each other on how well their part of the company is running.
During my time BD (before Dylan), I used to go to staff meetings for schools. Sometimes, it was a meeting where one person in charge stepped up and told us what we needed to do, but a lot of the times, it was time for teachers and staff to present ideas, compare classroom situations, brag about something they accomplished or one of their students accomplished, argue over the best way to do something. In many ways, playdate is like a staff meetings for mom's. We make announcements about where we are in life, "my kid just got his top front teeth, finally the constant diarrhea and drooling will stop." We compare brands "well pampers is better because it is softer and more pliable" "well Huggies has better overnight diapers." We ask advice "is John Doe in a toddler bed yet, because Nancy Drew is starting to crawl out of her crib, do I need to start that transition?" We make judgments, "well shouldn't he be eating solids by now?" And if you have a steady playgroup that meets on a regular basis, you start taking notes and then check on the progress weekly, "You said she wasn't eating veggies last week, have you started implementing them into other foods so she is getting the vitamins she needs?" Playdate is in theory supposed to be a time when kids get together to "play" which most of the time happens, but really it is for mom's to get together for their weekly staff meeting. There are times that I really get annoyed by a judgement or the constant comparing that is done when mom's get together, but I have to say that I look forward to my "weekly staff meeting." I look forward to the check-ins, updates, arguments, and presentations. It makes me feel like I am not alone in this crazy world of being a "mom."
Does Any Mom Really Stay-at-home??
Lately I have really been bugged by the title "stay-at-home-mom." Really it is completely outlandish and an outrageous title for us mom's who have decided to make our child more of a priority than our careers at this time in our lives. Does that mean we never had a career? Does that mean we never will have a career? Does that mean all we do is "stay-at-home" watching Days of Our Lives and changing diapers? Every mom that I know is screaming NOOOOO!! I do not know one mom that doesn't do something on the side other than "staying home." Every mom I know either takes care of other kid(s), has their own side business, works on a committee, works part-time from home or from work, and does countless work outside of "taking care of the kid(s)" on top of taking care of a home and the kid(s). Because of the economy, cost of living, and life styles of today, mom's have to take on so much. Even the mom's who can financially live off of one income, do so much outside of the house. Playgoups, gym classes, music classes, storytime, preschool classes, the list goes on and on and on. Mom's in this generation who supposedly just "stay-at-home" feel so much pressure from society that they must always be on the go, taking their kid here and there to make sure that they are "well-rounded" and "well-established" in this society.
Some days I wish I could just be a "stay-at-home" mom. Besides the one child we have, I watch two other children during the week days, run a High School volleyball program as a part-time job, help to run the children's choir, and serve on a committee at church. I take the kids to story time once a week, playgroup once a week and sometimes a preschool class here and there. And everyday mom's are asking me, what other activities can we do next week? When we do get time to "just be home," we are coloring with paint, markers, crayons, chalk; playing outside (even in blizzards); playing puzzles; playing play dough; on top of the continual wiping runny noses, cleaning dirty bottoms, making meals/snacks, keeping up with housework, playing referee to the biter and the pusher; and trying to connect with each child on an individual level everyday! Rarely do I get to just "stay-home" and when I do get to "stay-home," rarely do I get to sit down. So why are we called "stay-at-home" mom's? When we are usually driving our kids more places than the FedEx truck! When people ask me what I do, I think I am going to start telling them, I am the chief operator of a small enterprise. So small that the boss has to clean the toilets!
Some days I wish I could just be a "stay-at-home" mom. Besides the one child we have, I watch two other children during the week days, run a High School volleyball program as a part-time job, help to run the children's choir, and serve on a committee at church. I take the kids to story time once a week, playgroup once a week and sometimes a preschool class here and there. And everyday mom's are asking me, what other activities can we do next week? When we do get time to "just be home," we are coloring with paint, markers, crayons, chalk; playing outside (even in blizzards); playing puzzles; playing play dough; on top of the continual wiping runny noses, cleaning dirty bottoms, making meals/snacks, keeping up with housework, playing referee to the biter and the pusher; and trying to connect with each child on an individual level everyday! Rarely do I get to just "stay-home" and when I do get to "stay-home," rarely do I get to sit down. So why are we called "stay-at-home" mom's? When we are usually driving our kids more places than the FedEx truck! When people ask me what I do, I think I am going to start telling them, I am the chief operator of a small enterprise. So small that the boss has to clean the toilets!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Little Puzzler...
If my son wasn't a two and a half, I would get him tested for OCD. And I know it is a serious disease and I don't mean to joke about it but he has some serious obsession issues! From the way he has to have his hair washed (the hours of my life I have wasted waiting for Dylan to fill up my "rinse cup") to the methodical bedtime routine he has, he has constant issues about routine and the way he has to do things step by step, the same every time. And just like all toddlers, Dylan has stages that he goes through that become obsessions. His two main things he's obsessed with right now are cars/sports temporary tattoos and puzzles. Now most poeple would say those aren't bad obsessions and I would agree for the most part. Tattoos aren't bad because they only take thirty seconds to apply and he hasn't learned that they can go on other places on his body other than his hands so he has to wait for the one set to dissipate before we have to reapply new ones. However puzzles are another story... Everyone loves puzzles, babies, kids, parents, seniors. They are good for the mind, good for the fine motor skills. Every parent wants their kids to want to play puzzles. What is wrong with puzzles? Well, the main concept here is "obsession." He wakes up asking to do puzzles, he goes to bed asking to do a puzzle. If I didn't watch other children, I think the child would only ever play puzzles. I even bribe him to eat with puzzles ("if you eat a good dinner, I will do a puzzle with you after we eat). It wouldn't be so bad if he could be an independent puzzler, but at this stage, he still needs some help with getting the puzzles started and often gets frustrated so someone has to be near by to help him with his puzzles. I swear today for the first time, I suggested him watching t.v. just so I wouldn't have to do another puzzle with him, what kind of awful mom does that?? But obsession doesn't even begin to describe it. Outside of running around doing his nightly routine with the dog and our out-of-the-house activities, Dylan would sit and do puzzles all day if he could. The other day my husband and I were driving to our separate sporting practices and he looks over at me and says with a twinkle in his eye "play puzzles?" We both hadn't heard it in over twenty minutes and had to hear in order for it to feel like an ordinary day! Luckily we realize this is just a stage and appreciate it while we can because soon obsessions with be the video games and cell phone (yuck, I really am NOT looking forward to that stage!!) but sometimes, I just can't take doing any more PUZZLES!!
I love puzzles, I always have and I love watching my child work out the logic reasoning behind each matched piece, but I am so thankful I have a meeting tonight, so that Dad has to do the nightly puzzles:) One day I will look back on this blog and miss the puzzle stage.... but that day is not today:)
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
A Late Christmas Present
So my son gave me a late Christmas present last night. Let me set the stage for the occasion...
Because of all of the late nights at Dad's basketball games and Christmas events, my son has been a pain at night to put to bed. He gets into bed fine, without a fuss, but he is in a toddler bed now and knows how to open his bedroom door so after we say goodnight, he has been coming out of his room, three or four times before going to sleep. Every time it is a different excuse (sometimes I feel like I am dealing with a teenager) "I need more water," "I need to find x stuffed animal," "I need my blankets fixed" and our all-time favorite nightly excuse "I don't know, mommy. Too hard to sleep, mommy. Too hard!" So Dylan was doing this nightly routine of coming out of his room with an excuse.
About the third excuse into the evening, Dylan comes racing out of his bedroom, a huge grin on his face with his hand held out. "Here mommy! Here mommy!" I reach out to him and he starts pushing something into my hand, rubbing it into my hand. I asked him "what is it Dylan? Did you find something in your bed?" and then my husband asked him, "where did you find it Dylan?"
Dylan's answer: "My nose!!"
I got my first booger, I am officially a mom of a toddler. My son gave me a late Christmas present, I got my first official booger. Thank you Dylan. I love you sooo much!
Because of all of the late nights at Dad's basketball games and Christmas events, my son has been a pain at night to put to bed. He gets into bed fine, without a fuss, but he is in a toddler bed now and knows how to open his bedroom door so after we say goodnight, he has been coming out of his room, three or four times before going to sleep. Every time it is a different excuse (sometimes I feel like I am dealing with a teenager) "I need more water," "I need to find x stuffed animal," "I need my blankets fixed" and our all-time favorite nightly excuse "I don't know, mommy. Too hard to sleep, mommy. Too hard!" So Dylan was doing this nightly routine of coming out of his room with an excuse.
About the third excuse into the evening, Dylan comes racing out of his bedroom, a huge grin on his face with his hand held out. "Here mommy! Here mommy!" I reach out to him and he starts pushing something into my hand, rubbing it into my hand. I asked him "what is it Dylan? Did you find something in your bed?" and then my husband asked him, "where did you find it Dylan?"
Dylan's answer: "My nose!!"
I got my first booger, I am officially a mom of a toddler. My son gave me a late Christmas present, I got my first official booger. Thank you Dylan. I love you sooo much!
A Ranting Blog
Rant Number One:
Does television really have to play the scariest commercials during football games?? I mean seriously the last few NOON games, college and one o'clock games, NFL have had previews for movies like "The Witch" and scary commercials about intruders for ATD... they scare the crap out of me and you wonder why my two year old can't sleep at night?! My husband and I have gotten really good at charging into the room and grabbing the remote like a ninja, changing the channel when we get a glimpse of a scary one, but sometimes I'm getting the game time snack and he's wiping the dog's muddy paws and my two year old is left at the mercy of these scary commercials... it's NOON folks, doesn't someone in the sports TV business have a kid!? Don't they watch sports with their kid?! Seriously, save the scary commercials for the scary times at night!
Rant Number Two:
There is one time and only one time during the day that I am clean and that is the minute I step out of the shower. My dear husband let's me take nice showers if he is home every night and I get twenty minutes of complete alone bliss (that is the time I write these blogs. Seriously I'm hiding out in my bathroom typing this up right now:) I step out of that shower without a single whiff of poop, spit up, peanut butter, wet dog, or playdough. For one moment, I smell like the old me, the before kids me. I smell CLEAN! But daily, every single time I step out of that shower, my one small moment of cleanliness has disappeared with three nightmarish words "mommy I pooped." God please change my son's bowel movement schedule, thanks!
Rant Number Three: Moms that look good 24/7
I am sooo sick of seeing mom's that look sooo put together. Their outfit matches their purse, their purse matches their make-up and their make-up matches their diaper bag. They are toting around two beautiful children who match just enough that it's not too much... I can barely put make up on before running out the door with my one kid who refuses to wear anything but cheesie Cars shirts!! It is very, very disheartening. Please perfect looking mothers have one off day so I don't feel so terrible!!
Rant Number Four:
What's with non-jolly Santa's. For Christmas this year, we didn't do the mall Santa or the breakfast with Santa. But we did do the Polar Express and ran into a few Santa's here and there when we were out and about this Christmas. Everyone else that we met, the elves, the gingerbread men, everyone but Santa was jolly and friendly and had a smile on their face. But when I got my pictures back with my son standing with any Santa this season, they looked crabby and glum. I don't think I noticed it at the time because I was watching to make sure Dylan wasn't scared and that he was enjoying his time, but looking at these pictures, they all looked awful! luckily my Father-in-law dresses up every year for all of the kids, so my son got to enjoy one very jolly, happy Santa... But shouldn't Santa be the most jolly man you've ever seen? Maybe they are working too many overtime hours... maybe they need to hire happier Santas!
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