The Art of Getting Out the Door

Ever wonder why you are late for everything? Ever wonder why you write down everything on the calendar fifteen minutes before the actual start time? As a parent, you may have often wondered why in the world it takes you so long to get out the door. I have wondered this since my child was three days old and we tried to take him for a simple walk around the block... I have often thought there should be a class dedicated to simply "how to get your child(ren) out the door without killing yourself, your significant other, or your child".

Sometimes I truly believe that it takes more time, energy and planning to get children out of the door than it takes the Secret Service to take the President cross-country. Before you even try to get yourself or your child ready, you have to pack. Snacks for the hunger=crabby child. Extra clothes for the, spills-everytime-child. Extra diapers for the baby. And your own purse so you can pay for everything. Then you begin the process of getting your child(ren) ready. First you have to start with the changing discussion; which outfit is acceptable for the weather that day. Next you realize you didn't do a surveillance job so now you have to check the weather forecast but your computer decides to shut down. Next comes the potty/diaper drill. Depending on the season, you have the battle of the sunscreen and sunglasses; the battle of hat and mittens; or the dreaded battle of the snowsuit. Finally, right when you think you are ready to take the troops into the vehicle of choice, something is bound to go wrong. You forgot to feed the dog, you forgot to switch the carseat into the correct car, your friend calls with an emergency, or if you're like me, you forgot to put shoes on your toddler and he's walking around the yard in stocking feet. By this time everyone is whining about something and the dog is running in circles around you because she doesn't want to be left home. And before you can sneak out the door, you forgot to look at your own face in the mirror and send a prayer to God asking Him to please not let there be any peanut butter in viewable places.

I will never master the art of getting out of the door, but I do know God has been watching out for me because I have had many near disasters with peanut butter in just the right place:) I guess it's just part of being a parent. Although I think have some good tricks and tips for those Secret Service men....